Happy Birthday to me

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me....

Again..like all the years that went by, it's going to be me, myself and I sitting alone in my room looking out into the sky and left a heavy sigh. Seems like all my birthday wish never come true. Not even this year. No matter how desperate I wanted it to be a memorable one before I give my whole life and my whole entire future to the hands of my parents, it just won't come true. Sad... but true.

My time is running out now. Parents kept calling asking me to apply for a new job. Weird. When I've already gotten a very good offer, they want me to apply for another one. Reason: "We're getting old and we want our children to be near". Honestly, my heart is not anywhere near home. Not just yet. I have a life here. A life I build on my own. From my sweat and blood. I've worked hard to get where I am today. It's not easy for me to let it go. It's not easy for me to change into something I've left for a very long time. If I were to go back, I will have to start all over again and I'm not getting any younger each day. It's really sad to even think of it. It's really upsetting to even talk about it. It just hurts a lot.

What will happen now that I'm turning 30. I know my biological clock is ticking and I can hear it ticking every seconds of my life. People said that your write your own fate. But my fate is written by my parents. Not by myself. All of my friends said that it's my life. I run my own life. It's easy for people who do not know me to say that. I wish I can run my own life. I wish I can choose who I want to be with for the rest of my life. But it's not that simple. It has always been like that since I was a kid and it will never change.

This year I don't feel like wishing for anything since none of my wish all this years ever come true. I will just let the day goes by like any other day.... Happy Birthday to me....