Another sleepless night

I can't sleep again tonight. Everything is just so messed up. My feelings is so messed up. My Kar Jie found out what happened and she surprised me. I thought no one would ever read what I wrote the other day. Everytime when I looked at those pictures and the video once again, I felt disgusted at one part. Sorry for myself on another part. But, I've learnt my lesson from my past that feeling sorry for yourself never help.

I had to see him today to get my car and my driving license. I guess this will the last of me asking a favour from him. I need to be independent from now on. To see him again, gave me a mixture of feelings. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know if I should laugh at his jokes. It was dead silence in the car just now when he picked me up frm the train station. It was as if he's a total stranger to me. And me? I tried my hardest not to drop a tear although a tear threaten to fall anytime soon. Now, as I am writing this, my mind went back to 3 years ago when he and I spent nights sms-ing each other and calling each other. And when I came here, I was the happiest person on earth. Finally I found someone who would take care of me and mend my long broken heart. Now.....everything is just a memory.

Today is Friday the 13th and today means it's already the 2nd week I start working there. Time flies really fast. Everything is going well there. And to my surprise, someone messaged me and I just couldn't be bothered at all and ignored the message like nobody's business. Why should I bother? 1 of the sentence I remembered very clearly. "The company treat you nice." Oh please. Since when? If the company treated me well, I wouldn't have the urge to leave the moment I joined. If they treat me nicely, I won't be shedding some tears there. And I won't be in a bottleneck situation every month trying to survive with such salary. My move to leave was perfect. Also, he said about something not to use my contacts for competitive purpose. Hello...if the people I work with is happy working with me and wants to continue the good relation, who am I to decline and say "Oh no. You can't be doing this." What nonsense can that be? I've been hearing this flying around these days about the company and the people I've worked with. See...I don't have to take away the people I've worked with. They WILL initially run away.

Anyways....it's fun working there. Not about my lappie now has Thai symbols all over and Thai sticker. But it's fun. It's fun to do something I'm familiar with and help people who are not familiar. Sharing my knowledge with people who has the passion for the same thing I'm doing. I pretty like my new boss as well. His ideas are far far better. He thinks before he speaks. And he speaks by the facts and not just merely speaking things. 15 years working in the industry is really making someone amazing. I hope I can be like him 1 day.

Euro is on. Italy is playing. I'll continue again. Forza Italia....